Apolitical Aphorisms

 A quick entry for a mid-week smile:

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

~Jay Leno~

 

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

~Henry Cate, VII~

 

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

~Aesop~

 

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.

~Will Rogers~

 

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

~Nikita Khrushchev~

 

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.

~Clarence Darrow~

 

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.

~Author unknown~

 

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

~John Quinton~

 

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

~Oscar Ameringer~

 

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.

~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952~

 

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

~ Tex Guinan~

 

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

~Charles de Gaulle~

 

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

~Doug Larson~

 

There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on senators.

~Will Rogers~